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You are here: Home / Mailbag / Do You Need to Take a Look in the Mirror?

in Mailbag

Do You Need to Take a Look in the Mirror?

Do You Need to Look in the Mirror?

My husband and I get lots of messages from folks who read our blogs (my Loving Life at Home and his All Truth is God’s Truth, in addition to this family blog).

Sadly, many of the comments we receive are negative, like the people who claim I’m robbing my children of their childhood by requiring them to do chores. Or the woman who accused me of being sexist because I used masculine pronouns to answer another reader’s question (about her son). Or the one who thought it was selfish of me to pray for Waverly Fabric at a price I could afford (God answered anyway — I found 40 yards of the exact pattern I wanted at a garage sale for 25-cents a yard!).

That’s why it feels like a breath of fresh air when we hear from people who actually like something we’ve written, like the following reader.

Monday Mailbag

Exactly what I needed, but not what I went looking for

Dear Jennifer,

Have you ever gone looking for a laser pointer and God hands you a mirror instead? That’s what happened to me recently. We are currently expecting blessing number 5, have more than we deserve, and are surrounded with beautiful, faithful friends.

Still, life gets busy and stressful and people get cranky. Things here had been tense for no apparent reason, but tense none the less. My husband and I had a couple of disagreements in which I ended up yelling at him. I found myself feeling completely entitled as I “typically keep my mouth shut and he needed to hear it”.

Fortunately as I was busy trying to find that laser pointer to shine on all my husbands faults, God provided me a mirror through 2 of your posts:

  • “7 Ways to Ruin Your Marriage” and
  • “25 Ways to Communicate Respect“.

Taking a look in the mirror and changing my focus

With these tools I was able to get off my high horse and see the errors (intended to be plural) in my ways.

I was focusing on my needs and his mistakes. Heaven forbid anyone follow me around and point out every time I don’t get it quite right. I immediately put into action your suggestions and even sent him a list of specific things I would be doing to honor him and this family.

Thank you for being a light even when it shines in places we don’t want to see.

BTW, I’ll leave out the positive impact it’s had on our “alone time”. 😉 Thanks again and May God Bless you abundantly.

(Name Withheld)

Has anything like that ever happened to you?

Have you ever gone hunting for a laser to point out someone else’s faults, but God handed you a mirror instead?

It shouldn’t surprise us that He would do such a thing. After all, Jesus warned us about the danger of trying to remove a speck from another’s eye when we have a log in our own. (Luke 6:42)

Is there anything in your eye right now that’s obstructing your vision? How will you go about getting it out?

Take a long look in the mirror, and act on what you see. Be a doer of the Word, not just a hearer that deludes herself. (James 1:22-23)

Interested in reading the eye-opening posts mentioned above? Then follow these links:

25 Ways to Communicate Respect

7 Ways to Ruin Your Marriage

More Secrets to a Successful, God-Honoring Marriage

And for more marriage wisdom and encouragement, check out the following books. They reject the faulty thinking of modern-day culture and build instead upon clear, biblical principles that are both time-tested and effective.

  • Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself: Embracing God’s Purpose for Passion in Marriage
  • 25 Way to Communicate Respect for Your Husband: A Handbook for Wives
  • 25 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife: A Handbook for Husbands

Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself: Embracing God's Purpose for Passion in Marriage

PLEASE NOTE: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through any of those links, we may receive a small referral fee, at no extra cost to you. Such fees help defray the cost of running this website. This, in turn, allows us to continue offering our readers a wealth of FREE printable resources. So thank you for your support!

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Comments

  1. JANET MCCONNELL says

    July 28, 2017 at 1:11 pm

    The miracle above all miracles in all of this is that my husband is on board! He watched the movie “Forks Over Knives” and a few videos from NutritionFacts.Org (Dr. Greger’s site), and he’s almost to the point of obnoxious over this, lol. I just saw “Plant Pure Nation” and will be watching “What the Health” this weekend. I found a doctor between San Antonio and Austin, not too terribly far. She was recommended via the Forks Over Knives website and watching these last two movies is a prerequisite for getting established with her as a patient. I’m so excited and I praise the Lord for you and how He used you to lead us in this direction.

    Reply
  2. JANET MCCONNELL says

    July 27, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    Dear Jennifer: I don’t even remember how I found you. I’m a grandma but a former homeschool mom from back in the day when homeschooling was a political battle to be fought here in Texas. I’m amazed at how far we have come! I use your printouts with my granddaughter and to organize my planner. Thank you for those, but what I really want to thank you for is the checklist of Dr. Greger’s Daily Dozen. That led me to the book, “How Not to Die” and has changed my life and my husband’s. I have never felt better and we are hoping that my husband’s prostate cancer will be healed. I’ll definitely keep you posted on that one. Love you!

    And PS…pay no mind to the naysayers and trolls. God is using you in mighty ways!

    Reply
    • Jennifer Flanders says

      July 28, 2017 at 6:44 am

      Oh, Janet. Thank you so much for writing. I’m amazed at how many Western diseases can be prevented, and in many cases, the damage already done reversed by following a plant based diet. The list sounds like what you might hear a snake oil salesman rattle off, so I’m glad Dr. Gregor has backed up all those claims with so many compelling scientific studies and statistics. It’s hard to argue with the facts!

      BTW, I feel much better, too. I’d had a frozen shoulder for nearly a year that disappeared after only 2-3 weeks of eating vegan.

      Reply
  3. joanna n. says

    April 5, 2016 at 8:00 am

    let me add to your positive feedback; i absolutely love your family! you inspire me & encourage me, & i thank Jesus for your ministry! keep doing what Jesus lays on your heart, & you’ll continue to have naysayers, but you’ll bless so many along the way. thank you!

    Reply
    • Jennifer Flanders says

      April 6, 2016 at 4:37 am

      Aww, thanks Joanna. I appreciate those kind words!

      Reply

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Doug & Jennifer Flanders - www.flandersfamily.info

We love Jesus, love each other, love our 12 children, and love the life God's given us. We started this blog as a way to share resources with others who want strong marriages, happy families, & healthy homes.

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