• Home
  • About
    • Our Family
    • Our Purpose
    • Our Beliefs
    • Our Christmas Letters
    • Other FAQ’s
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Shop
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Flanders Family Homelife

Living, Loving, & Learning Together

  • Home
  • Love
    • Respect your Husband
    • Love your Wife
    • Get Along with In-laws
    • Find Time for Intimacy
    • More on Marriage
  • Learn
    • Why Homeschool? Our Family’s Reasons
    • Occupying Toddlers
    • Kindergarten Plan
    • Choosing Curriculum: Cultivate Your Child’s Love for Learning
    • Report Cards
    • High School Transcripts
    • CLEP/ Dual Credit
    • High School Diplomas
  • Parent
    • Tips on Potty Training
    • Stop Sibling Squabbles
    • Chore Assignments
    • Computer TIme
    • Adult Children at Home
  • Eat
    • Breakfasts
    • Breads
    • Salads
    • Soups
    • Sides
    • Main DIshes
    • Desserts
  • Celebrate
    • New Year’s
    • Valentine’s Day
    • Easter
    • Summer Vacation
    • Independence Day
    • Back to School
    • Halloween
    • Thanksgiving
    • Christmas
  • Save
    • Kids Eat Free
    • Budgeting Tips
    • Earn Cash Back w/Ebates
  • Read
    • Recent Reads
    • Books We’ve Authored
    • Reading Rewards
    • Free Books!!
  • Travel
    • Vacation Planning
    • We Flew FREE to Europe
    • Sample Itineraries
  • Organize
    • General Tips
    • Goal Setting
    • Mom’s Notebook
    • Kitchen
    • Bedrooms
  • Print
    • Calendars
    • Chore Charts
    • Coloring Pages
    • Math Drills
    • Prayer Guides
    • View All >
  • Subscribe
You are here: Home / Mailbag / Mailbag Monday: Adult Children Living at Home

in Mailbag· Parenting

Mailbag Monday: Adult Children Living at Home

Mailbag Mondays - Our answers to readers' questions
Dear Jennifer,

I thoroughly enjoyed your book, Love Your Husband — so much so that I bought a few extra to pass out! I was tremendously encouraged by it!! Thank you!!

I appreciate how you incorporate motherhood into the picture!! I went into marriage knowing and wanting to be the wife God wants me to be, but — like you talk about — I got blinded by pregnancies and babies, etc.

I had no good encouragement, but was surrounded by bad advice and examples… my heart aches that I was so stupid!

Mostly, I am writing to ask your advice on an issue I am reaping with my oldest son of 23. Just wondering if you think an adult child living at home should basically show the same type of respect as a wife? (Dad has asked him to be home to take care of all his business because he has been very sick.)

Adult children still living at home. What is their responsibility toward their parents?

My son thinks he needs to tell his father when he is not acting the way he should, like he would do for a brother in Christ. My husband most certainly does not want anyone living in his household not respecting him. I’ve tried to plead with my son to let God work on this, but he disagrees because he feels it is his responsibility as a brother in Christ.

How would you handle this situation?

Sincerely,
Joan


Dear Joan,

Thanks for your sweet words of encouragement. I apologize for taking so long to answer your question. I am always dreadfully behind on responding to emails.

Focus on the Family ran an article on adult children living at home the same week you wrote. Did you happen to see it? If not, here is a link: Three Things Parents of Adult Children in the Home should Consider

I’m not sure from your letter whether it is your son or your husband who has been ill. Not that it matters. Either way, one obviously needs the help of the other.

You are right in urging your son to pray for his father. As an adult, he should (theoretically) be able to speak to his dad as he would a Christian brother; however, he is still obligated to “speak the truth in love” and to remain respectful of his father at all times.

If he is unable to say what he thinks his father needs to hear in a way that communicates that deep respect and appreciation — or if your husband cannot abide to acknowledge the truth (spoken in love) of what he is saying — then your son should pray that God would send another messenger to whom his father will listen.

Incidentally, I’ve written another marriage book since publishing the one you’ve been reading. The newer one is called 25 Ways to Communicate Respect. It is written for wives, but most of the tips would also be appropriate ways for a child (of any age) to show respect to his parents. Things such as:

  • Honoring their wishes
  • Not interrupting
  • Being grateful
  • Keeping the house tidy
  • Praying for them
  • Spending time together
  • Not arguing
  • Protecting their reputations
  • Forgiving their shortcomings
  • Not complaining

You can find the complete list here, as well as a list for husbands here, which contains many tips that would be appropriate for parent/child relationships, as well.

It may be that the situation has already resolved somewhat. I certainly pray it has.

Related

Leave a Comment

« Word on Wednesday: Jeremiah 33:3
A Perfect Place for Strawberry Picking »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




meet the parents

Doug & Jennifer Flanders - www.flandersfamily.info

We love Jesus, love each other, love our 12 children, and love the life God's given us. We started this blog as a way to share resources with others who want strong marriages, happy families, & healthy homes.

Read more

connect with us

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

looking for something?

freebies in your inbox

Join over 19K other subscribers and get sunshine delivered weekly to your inbox.

Unsure? Browse my newsletter archives to see what you're missing

get your family talking

Table Talk Book

cook gourmet meals at home

HelloFresh delivers great recipes and fresh ingredients to your home each week.

start your day right

make over your mornings

If your mornings don't run as smoothly as you'd like, this course can help. Good for night owls & early birds alike!

join the conversation

  • Jennifer Flanders on National Bible Bee Summer Study Program
  • Debbie Bonzon on National Bible Bee Summer Study Program
  • Laura Noelle on Mobi Zippee Toy Review
  • Jennifer Flanders on 10 Terrific Treats for Frog Lovers
  • Poison Frog on 10 Terrific Treats for Frog Lovers
  • Jennifer Flanders on Baby Shower Word Scramble (Free Printable)
  • Bisi E on Baby Shower Word Scramble (Free Printable)
  • Jennifer Flanders on Free Editable High School Transcript Template

Readers' Favorites

Name that Line - Christmas Movie Game

Name that Line Christmas Quiz

Shares: 39539

How Well Do You Know Your Christmas Carols

How Well Do You Know Your Christmas Carols?

Shares: 28689

Age-Appropriate Children's Chore Chart - IG

Age-Appropriate Chores for Children

Shares: 92699

Make Every Month More Meaningful

Make Every Month More Memorable

Shares: 54179

most popular posts this week

  • Number Writing Practice Sheet (Free Printable)
  • Free Editable High School Transcript Template
  • 2023 Calendars for Advanced Planning
  • Father's Day Coupon Book (Free Printable)
  • In Flanders Fields (Free Printable Poem)
  • Baby Shower Word Scramble (Free Printable)
  • One-Year Bible Reading Plan
  • 2024 Calendars for Advanced Planning
  • Best 2023 Reading Rewards Programs for Kids
  • Free Printing Practice Sheets

earn free books and bibles

Tyndale Rewards Club

This is a great program, and it's FREE! Bonus: when you sign up through this link, you get 25 points (& I get 10 -- so, thanks!).

free starter set

Free Starter Set from Grove Collaborativefree starter set from Grove

unleash your child’s creativity

agathon web hoting
Christian Family Blogs
  • Home
  • Faith
  • Family
  • Food
  • Fun
  • Freebies

visit jennifer’s blog

Jennifer Flanders' Blog: Loving Life At Home Loving Life at Home

visit doug’s blog

Doug Flanders' Blog: All Truth Is God's Truth All Truth is God's Truth

privacy policy | disclosure statement

shop our books

25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband 25 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife
Sit Down & Eat Get Up & Go

thanks for dropping by

Thank you for visiting our website Let's Get Social
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

looking for something?

recommended resources

as seen on:

America Tonight ABC Australia BBC Tyler Morning Telegraph

It’s blueberry season! We love picking our own a It’s blueberry season! We love picking our own at Blueberry Hill Farm in Edom.  #summersummerfruit #pickyourownfarm
Teddy bear toast for breakfast. Yum! #funfood #fl Teddy bear toast for breakfast. Yum!  #funfood #flandersfamilyeats
Getting busy with our Believe discovery journals f Getting busy with our Believe discovery journals from National Bible Bee’s summer study program. I love that in addition to scripture memorization, this program teaches kids to use in-depth study tools like Greek lexicons and Bible dictionaries.  #biblememory #summerschool #lifestyleoflearning #biblebee
The Gathering Place in Tulsa is the most amazing p The Gathering Place in Tulsa is the most amazing playground ever! Climbing castles, enormous slides, two-person swings, and even kayaks and paddle boats — all FREE. You don’t even have to pay for parking!  #flandersfamilytravels #thegatheringplace #roadtrip
We are so very grateful for those who paid the ult We are so very grateful for those who paid the ultimate price to secure and protect our liberty, and we are also thankful for places like this — the National World War I Museum in Kansas City, MO — for preserving this integral part of our nation’s history.  “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”  #flandersfamilytravels #memorialday #landoftgefreebecauseofthebrave
Every inch of the Kansas State Capitol was spectac Every inch of the Kansas State Capitol was spectacular — from its maze-like ground level to the tip top of its dome, which those of us who were willing to climb the 296 steps required were able to see in person.  Kansas is the only state capitol in the US that offers free public tours to the top of its cupola.  #flandersfamilytravels #statecapitols #homeschool #fieldtrip
For the most part, our days of traveling with ten For the most part, our days of traveling with ten or twelve kids in tow are behind us.  For the majority of our trips during the past year, we’ve had only these three tagging along. Sometimes just the youngest two.  By this time next year, we’ll be down to only Abby.  The speed with which all our chicks have grown up and left the nest have made me so grateful for the years we’ve spent homeschooling them and for the freedom that decision has allowed us to travel together whenever and wherever my husband’s schedule would allow.  Traveling cross country with cranky toddlers isn’t always fun.  Backpacking Europe with a breastfeeding baby takes effort.  Cramming 12 people into a 500 sq ft army barrack during Daddy’s 4-month (stateside) deployment so we can all be together requires commitment.  But all the memories and comradery and love that such small sacrifices foster are so worth it!  So don’t put off traveling with your kids until they are older. Even if you are just driving across town to explore a park or museum you’ve never seen before, do it without delay.  If you wait too long, you may not have any kids left at home to share the experience with. 🥲  #flandersfamilytravels #homeshooling #siezetheday
I think the Iowa State Capitol is my favorite so f I think the Iowa State Capitol is my favorite so far. Such exquisite craftsmanship at every turn!  The walls and ceilings are entirely hand painted (no wallpaper). The mosaics are breathtaking. And the library is a dream! ❤️❤️❤️  #flandersfamilytravels #roadtrip #statecapitol #homeschool #fieldtrip
We toured the world’s largest rail yard in North We toured the world’s largest rail yard in North Platte, NE. “More trains than you can keep track of” — and los of history, too! 🚂  #flandersfamilytravels #roadtrip #unionpacific
We loved looking at all the wonderful piecework at We loved looking at all the wonderful piecework at the International Quilt Museum in Lincoln, Nebraska. Such gorgeous handiwork! 
We also enjoyed the museum’s craft corner upstairs where we could unleash a little creativity of our own.  #flandersfamilytravels #museumlife

Copyright © 2023 · Market theme by Restored 316