Children are a Blessing Coloring Page
Last week, my daughter in dental school tagged me on Facebook with a link to an article called When Did We Start Hating Big Families?
“Was this your experience at all?” she wanted to know, referring to the negative comments the author of the article got regarding her three (3) children.
“Never once have I felt self-conscious about being part of our family,” Bethany continued. “I know we get lots of comments, but they’ve never seemed negative, just surprised. (At least the ones I heard.)”
She went on to note that she’s heard reports like this one from lots of women. Especially from those of her own generation, many of whom are just beginning their families. Some of these families have only three or four children (so far). But are still regarded with suspicion.
“That doesn’t even seem like a big family at all,” Beth wrote. “Although I guess it is double the national average. Anyway, I love you and our 8x-the-average-size family.”
The answer to Bethany’s question as to whether such vocal reactions have ever our experience is yes and no. Sure, we’ve gotten our fair share of comments through the years from people who think we are crazy to have so many children.
But the vast majority of remarks have been positive. That may have something to do with the fact that we live in East Texas. Small town people from the south are normally too polite to say mean things to your face.
Big families are no longer the norm; therefore, we attract more attention than we would have in another era or another culture.
Generally, I think people who try to strike up a conversation about our big family are often simply curious. So I do my best not to take offense, even if their questions get a little personal. Most of the folks who ask such questions aren’t trying to be rude. But even if they are, that says more about them than about us. And a patient, friendly response will do more to win them over than a snippy comeback ever could.
For those who’ve lost sight of the fact children are a blessing, not a burden, I offer this week’s coloring page. It features Psalm 127:3-5. “Children are a blessing from the LORD…. Happy is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Evidently, some people could use that little reminder. So I designed this Children are a Blessing coloring page to serve in that capacity.
And for folks who are particularly intrigued by big families — especially those who seem interested in starting a big family of their own — we point them to the following titles for further study and encouragement.
- Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies
by Candice Watters
- Be Fruitful and Multiply: What the Bible Says about Having Children
by Nancy Campbell
- Open Embrace: A Protestant Couple Rethinks Contraception
by Sam and Bethany Torode
- Three Decades of Fertility: Ten Ordinary Women Surrender to the Creator and Embrace Life
by Natalie A Klejwa, et al.
Have you ever received comments on your family size? How did you respond? If you find yourself in this boat often, you might want to familiarize yourself with the many blessings having a lot of children brings. For a good synopsis of these benefits, check out my other posts on the topic:
- 15 Unexpected Benefits from Big Family Living – A tongue-in-cheek post detailing all the things I love about living in a large family
- 9 Smart Reasons for Having Babies – A fascinating look at the scientific benefits to birthing lots of babies
- 7 Reasons to Prioritize Intimacy in Marriage – And here’s an article on the scientific benefits to doing the deed that makes the babies in the first place. 😉
- 5 Tips for Responding to Negativism – Here are some guiding principles for answering people’s comments on family size, whether those comments are kind, callous, or curious.
I was once told by a family member that we had too many children, and without even thinking, I said, “Oh! Which one should we not have?” I think that brought home to her how precious each one is.
Then my husband’s uncle said, as a joke, “Don’t you know what causes that?” and I shot back, “Sure we do! We just have more to show for it than most people!”. He laughed and laughed, and never teased me again about our children.
As has been said, people are mostly nice. Only once out in public, when I ran into my high school biology teacher (who had two children later in life), was I exposed to real disgust that we hadn’t been more careful with birth control. That was tough, in one sense, because I had cared about her good opinion, but I very quickly felt sorry for her.
I love both those answers, Nancy — especially “having more to show for it than most.” That’s classic!
We hear negative comments ALL THE TIME! There was even a time of almost a year that we had to cut family out of our lives because their negative comments were the worst (things I can’t even imagine a stranger saying to us!). I think what I dislike the most is that people automatically assume we are living off the government so they think they have a say in how many children we have. It’s none of their business even if we did receive governmental assistance, but it definitely isn’t since we aren’t. I will say that we do receive the occasional positive comment and sometimes people are genuinely curious.
I have five children ages six and under. We live in California. And receive lots of questions but people always give us the kindest compliments. When they ask questions like, “are they all yours?” they are simply asking. I love that people are still so willing to stop and strike up a conversation with a stranger, especially in this day and age.
I get the comment, that’s a big gap! I have a 19 yr old, a 12yr old, and a 3 yr old. If I had all my babies there would be 7. I consider it a blessing. My hardships allow me to empathize and connect with women whom have had troubles conceiving or birthing. Every one of my experiences was different. Bit I’m still able to say that “God is good, all the time”.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it must have been hard to lose so many in a row. I lost two babies to miscarriage, but they were spaced far enough apart so as not to leave an obvious gap. Nevertheless, you are right: God is good, all the time. And there’s nothing like mourning a child you don’t get to raise to make you appreciate those you do.
I am the eleventh child of sixteen. I heard it all. It was really annoying. Oh well…
Now, as a homeschooling parent, I hear all THOSE comments. People will be people. And yes, like you said, they are most likely just curious…so try not to take offense.
I LOVE your big family!!