{"id":1304,"date":"2011-06-04T19:38:53","date_gmt":"2011-06-05T00:38:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/?p=1304"},"modified":"2023-08-18T16:21:40","modified_gmt":"2023-08-18T21:21:40","slug":"mailbag-finding-time-for-intimacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/2011\/06\/04\/mailbag-finding-time-for-intimacy\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do We Find Time for Intimacy?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m slowly but surely clearing out the messages in my inbox. This week’s mailbag question deals with finding time for intimacy.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Monday<\/p>\n

Question: How do we find time for intimacy?<\/h2>\n

Dear Jennifer:<\/p>\n

My husband and I have three children, but ever since the second was born, I have felt stretched to the max.<\/p>\n

Between chauffeuring kids to after-school activities, preparing dinner, and helping with homework, I have zero energy left for my spouse<\/strong> at the end of the day.<\/p>\n

How do I find time for intimacy with him when my schedule\u2019s already so packed?<\/strong> Once I finally get the kids to bed every night, I\u2019m completely spent.<\/p>\n

Too Tired Tonight<\/p>\n

\"Finding<\/p>\n

Answer: Think outside the box!<\/h2>\n

Dear Tired:<\/p>\n

If your schedule is too overloaded for you to spend meaningful time with your husband, then you seriously need to scale back.<\/strong> Trying to maintain your current pace will not only take its toll on your marriage, but may compromise your health, as well.<\/p>\n

Nor is such a full social calendar in the best interest of your children. Kids need a stress-free, stable home much more than they need another art lesson or baseball practice<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

As for waiting until your kids are asleep before sharing intimacy with your spouse: That\u2019s a battle you can\u2019t win. The older they get, the later your children will stay up.<\/strong> Once they\u2019re in high school or college, they may even pull a few all-nighters when finishing term papers or cramming for exams.<\/p>\n

It will be virtually impossible to outlast them, so you might as well stop trying.<\/p>\n

Instead, invest in a good lock for your bedroom door<\/strong>. Wake up extra early, throw the latch, and enjoy some uninterrupted time together before the day even begins.<\/p>\n

Alternatively, retreat there with your husband while the day is still young and your energy levels are high, maybe even before dinner.<\/p>\n

Set your kids to doing their homework or playing a game in the other end of the house, then tell them that Mom and Dad are going to visit and should not be disturbed unless it\u2019s an emergency.<\/p>\n

By the time they\u2019ve finished their math lesson or a single round of monopoly, you\u2019ll be back — relaxed, refreshed, and ready to spend the rest of the evening with them.<\/strong> And your grateful husband may even offer to do the dinner dishes.<\/p>\n

\n

Want more great reasons to prioritize this aspect of your marriage? Check out my book, Love Your Husband\/ Love Yourself<\/a>. It will revolutionize your thinking — and your marriage!<\/p>\n

\"Love<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m slowly but surely clearing out the messages in my inbox. This week’s mailbag question deals with finding time for intimacy. Question: How do we find time for intimacy? 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Click through the links to read our responses to the following questions: Date Night Dilemmas\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mailbag"","block_context":{"text":"Mailbag","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/category\/mailbag\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Date Night","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Date-Night.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Date-Night.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Date-Night.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Date-Night.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1473,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/2010\/11\/30\/mailbag-finding-time-for-fitness\/","url_meta":{"origin":1304,"position":1},"title":"Finding Time for Fitness","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"November 30, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I devote Mondays to cleaning out my mailbag. 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Jennifer: We have five\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Health"","block_context":{"text":"Health","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/category\/health\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Exercising with Kids","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/pexels-gustavo-fring-3985235.jpeg?fit=1024%2C685&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/pexels-gustavo-fring-3985235.jpeg?fit=1024%2C685&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/pexels-gustavo-fring-3985235.jpeg?fit=1024%2C685&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/pexels-gustavo-fring-3985235.jpeg?fit=1024%2C685&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15195,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/2016\/05\/23\/mailbag-arguments-friendships-and-purity\/","url_meta":{"origin":1304,"position":2},"title":"Mailbag: Arguments, Friendships, and Purity","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"May 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Several of the questions we've received from readers lately deal with topics better suited to our other blogs: avoiding arguments in marriage, navigating friendships with the opposite sex, and maintaining purity as a single person. So we've taken the liberty of answering them there. Click through the links to read\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mailbag"","block_context":{"text":"Mailbag","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/category\/mailbag\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"10 Tips to help couples Quit Quarreling","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-to-Stop-Arguing.png?fit=700%2C707&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-to-Stop-Arguing.png?fit=700%2C707&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-to-Stop-Arguing.png?fit=700%2C707&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-to-Stop-Arguing.png?fit=700%2C707&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":10610,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/2015\/04\/13\/mailbag-monday-celebrity-look-alikes\/","url_meta":{"origin":1304,"position":3},"title":"Mailbag Monday: Celebrity Look-Alikes","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"April 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I use Mondays to clear out my mailbag. This week we're discussing celebrity look-alikes, since our family has several. Want proof? Read on to examine the compelling photographic evidence yourself. Question: Did you ever notice? Dear Mr. & Mrs. Flanders, Has anybody ever told you your son looks like Ashton\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/category\/humor\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Grayson and Alfred E Newman","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Grayson-and-Alfred-E-Newman.png?fit=1024%2C1022&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Grayson-and-Alfred-E-Newman.png?fit=1024%2C1022&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Grayson-and-Alfred-E-Newman.png?fit=1024%2C1022&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Grayson-and-Alfred-E-Newman.png?fit=1024%2C1022&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1509,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/2010\/08\/12\/mailbag-kids-chores\/","url_meta":{"origin":1304,"position":4},"title":"Should Kids Get Paid for Chores?","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"August 12, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"This week's Mailbag Monday post tackles a common question from parents: Should we pay our kids for doing chores? And if so, how much? Read on to learn how we handle this issue in our family. Question: How much should I pay my child for doing chores? Hi, Jennifer. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mailbag"","block_context":{"text":"Mailbag","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/category\/mailbag\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Should Kids Get Paid for Chores","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/Should-Kids-Get-Paid-for-Chores-IG.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/Should-Kids-Get-Paid-for-Chores-IG.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/Should-Kids-Get-Paid-for-Chores-IG.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/Should-Kids-Get-Paid-for-Chores-IG.png?fit=1024%2C1024&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":23030,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/2019\/05\/06\/mailbag-how-do-you-accomplish-so-much\/","url_meta":{"origin":1304,"position":5},"title":"Mailbag: How Do You Accomplish So Much?","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"May 6, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Mondays are my day for tackling my mailbox. This week, I'm sharing a message I got from a sweet and talented reader who wanted to know how I accomplish so much. Here's my answer to that oft asked question. Question Hi, Jennifer. I think you are REMARKABLE and love your\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mailbag"","block_context":{"text":"Mailbag","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/category\/mailbag\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Mailbag Mondays","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-26-at-7.55.26-AM.png?fit=960%2C958&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-26-at-7.55.26-AM.png?fit=960%2C958&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-26-at-7.55.26-AM.png?fit=960%2C958&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/Screen-Shot-2015-01-26-at-7.55.26-AM.png?fit=960%2C958&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1304"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81071,"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1304\/revisions\/81071"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33426"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1304"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}