{"id":5256,"date":"2012-09-02T07:02:47","date_gmt":"2012-09-02T12:02:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/?page_id=5256"},"modified":"2023-01-31T13:32:24","modified_gmt":"2023-01-31T19:32:24","slug":"25-ways-to-express-love","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/marriage\/25-ways-to-express-love\/","title":{"rendered":"25 Ways to Express Love to Your Wife"},"content":{"rendered":"

This article, 25 Ways to Express Love to Your Wife, is one Doug originally wrote for his blog, All Truth Is God’s Truth<\/a>. It has been so popular there that we decided to include it on our family website, as well. To read the original post, follow this link<\/a>. For a printer-friendly version of the full list, click here<\/a>. For a printable, one-page summary, click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Any husband who faithfully follows all the suggestions on this list will make it very easy and natural for his wife to respect him. A happy marriage takes a lot of work, but the rewards are well worth the effort!<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nThe key to a successful marriage is putting your spouse’s needs ahead of your own. Here are 25 practical suggestions gleaned from 25 years of happy marriage.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Listen<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nTo be truly heard is the longing of every human heart, and your wife is no exception. It sounds simple, but listening can be harder than it seems with so many distractions around us and within us. Set aside some time every day to look into your wife\u2019s eyes and really listen to what she has to say. You may be surprised at what you hear. (    James 1:19<\/a>, Matthew 11:15<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  2. Communicate<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nDon\u2019t make her guess what you are thinking or feeling. <\/li>\n
  3. Sing Her Praises<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nShamelessly brag about her good qualities and quietly pray about her bad ones. Her reputation is your reputation. (    Proverbs 31:28-29<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  4. Pray For Her and With Her<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nPraying on your wife’s behalf not only enlists the help of the Almighty, but also puts her and her needs at the forefront of your heart and mind, right where they belong. Praying alongside your wife will strengthen your relationship like nothing else. Studies show that couples who regularly pray together stay together, enjoying a 1% divorce rate compared to the usual rate of 50% or more. (    Philippians 4:6<\/a>; Matthew 18:19<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  5. Value Her Individuality<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nYour wife is wonderfully unique. Don\u2019t compare her to your mom, or your ex-wife, or your old girlfriend. Your mom may make the best chocolate chip cookies in the world, but unfavorable comparisons won\u2019t win you brownie points.<\/li>\n
  6. Put the Seat Down<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nPerpetually raised toilet seats are a pet peeve of wives everywhere. And while you\u2019re at it, tidy up a bit. A little consideration goes a long way. (    Philippians 2:4<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  7. Throw Your Dirty Clothes in the Hamper<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nIt’s likely just a few steps from wherever you are dropping them anyway. Make this a habit, and it will let your wife know your don’t consider her your personal maid.<\/li>\n
  8. Turn Off the T.V.<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nLay aside the video games, pocket the iPhone, and shut off the computer, as well. It is staggering how many hours we waste gazing at some sort of screen instead of interacting with the real people in our lives. Consciously set limits on your tube-time, whatever form it takes. Use the time saved to invest in your marriage: take a walk with your wife or play a board game together instead. (    Psalm 90:12<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  9. Loosen the Purse Strings<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nWe all have to keep an eye on our budget, but an occasional splurge can be well worth it. Seemingly frivolous things like flowers, jewelry, and overpriced restaurants let her know that she is more valuable to you than a number in your bank account.<\/li>\n
  10. Practice Servant-Leadership<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nAll organizations have a hierarchy. It\u2019s impossible to function without one, but being a leader isn\u2019t the same as being a dictator. The best role model is Jesus Christ, not Joseph Stalin. Jesus washed his disciples feet and then died on their behalf. It’s a challenge to exercise authority while maintaining a spirit of humility, but that is what being a godly leader entails. (    Matthew 20:28<\/a>, Philippians 2:1-8<\/a>; Mark 9:35<\/a>) <\/li>\n
  11. Remember that Intimacy’s a Two-Way Street<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nUnfortunately, men are notoriously selfish in the bedroom, yet are dumbfounded when their wives are less than enthusiastic in this arena. Make this area of your relationship as pleasurable for her as it is for you and it will pay huge dividends. It may mean washing the dishes or helping with the kids, so that she has energy left at the end of the day. It may mean cuddling and candlelight, so that she can relax and let the worries on her mind drift away. If you aren\u2019t sure where to begin, just ask her, and then listen. (    1 Corinthians 7:3<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  12. Give Her Time to Herself<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nEveryone needs an occasional break to rest and recharge, and this is especially important for a wife who is at home all day with young children. Yet it’s very easy to neglect this legitimate need unless you regularly and intentionally schedule time for it. (    Luke 5:16<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  13. Set Aside Couple Time<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nSoak in the tub together each evening or go on a date night once a week — whatever gets the two of you alone on a regular basis. (    Genesis 2:24-25<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  14. Be Careful with Female Friendships<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nWe all have friends and colleagues of the opposite sex, but tread cautiously. Not all affairs are physical ones. Honoring your marriage vows means remaining faithful in thought and word as well as in deed. (    Matthew 5:27-28<\/a>) <\/li>\n
  15. Use Good Hygiene<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nIt is amazing how meticulous guys can be prior to marriage in their attempts to impress a girl, but once they walk down the aisle, all bets are off. Clean up a little; I promise it won\u2019t kill you. <\/li>\n
  16. Limit the Gross Stuff<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nFew women find burping and farting nearly as hilarious as the typical guy does. Good manners are always a win. (    Ephesians 5:4<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  17. Be Patient<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nIn whatever way this applies to you and your situation, apply it. (    1 Corinthians 13:4<\/a>, Proverbs 14:29<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  18. Cherish Her Children<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nA mother’s bond to her children runs immeasurably deep. When you invest time or energy in them, you are investing in her as well. Kindness to them counts as kindness to her. (    Malachi 4:6<\/a>) <\/li>\n
  19. Choose Her Over Hobbies and Buddies<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nInvariably there will come times in your relationship when you will be forced to choose between your wife and something else that you enjoy. Always choose her. <\/li>\n
  20. Provide for Her Needs<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nThis is so much more than just putting food on the table. It is all-encompassing. Whether it is physical needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs, you name it — do your best to provide. Sometimes life\u2019s circumstances hinder us in one area, but we can compensate in another area. Often the effort is as important as the outcome. (    Galatians 6:2<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  21. Dial Down the Anger<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nYour caveman instincts are handy on the battlefield, but horrible for a happy home life. Every outburst or flare-up is a relationship setback. To go forward, the first step is to stop going backwards. Learn to control your temper or it will control you, your marriage, and every other aspect of your life. Just because your wife puts up with it and your co-workers tolerate it, doesn\u2019t make your short fuse an asset. Do whatever it takes to gain victory in this all-important struggle that has haunted man since Cain slew Abel. (    Ecclesiastes 7:9<\/a>, Ephesians 4:31<\/a>) <\/li>\n
  22. Cut Out the Condescension<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nIf you have been blessed with a quick wit, you can either be the life of the party or a pain in the neck depending on the circumstances. Condescension is anger\u2019s younger brother. It isn\u2019t as loud or as dramatic, but it can be equally hurtful and all the more so for its subtlety. Lay off the snide remarks, the sarcasm, and the belittling. Speak to your wife in the same way that you would speak to a respected colleague. She is, after all, your partner in the most valuable investment of your life — your family.(,     (Ephesians 4:29<\/a>, Colossians 3:19<\/a>) <\/li>\n
  23. Actively Seek Your Wife’s Insights<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nValue her input and give it a preferential place in your decision-making process. (    Proverbs 19:20<\/a>; 12:15<\/a>)<\/li>\n
  24. Learn to Forgive<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nFreely forgive your wife\u2019s past, present, and future offenses. Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel and at the heart of every meaningful relationship. (    Ephesians 4:32<\/a>, Colossians 3:13<\/a>) <\/li>\n
  25. Verbally Express Your Love<\/span><\/span><\/span>
    \nThere are lots of ways to show your love, but women still like to hear it spoken. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Obviously no list is comprehensive, and one size certainly doesn’t fit all, but hopefully this one will prompt you to compile a list of your own, tailor-made for your own wife. For any women reading this blog, you may be interested to know that my wife has published a similar list entitled 25 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband<\/a>. Check it out and let me know what you think.<\/p>\n

    Also, for those who have requested printable versions of these articles, you’ll find the list for wives here<\/a> and the one for husbands here<\/a>, with an option to print either article in its entirety or as a one-page summary.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    This article, 25 Ways to Express Love to Your Wife, is one Doug originally wrote for his blog, All Truth Is God’s Truth. It has been so popular there that we decided to include it on our family website, as well. To read the original post, follow this link. 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Are you plagued by stress-filled days and sleepless nights? Do you long for a deeper, more satisfying\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 3 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 3 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/books\/love-your-husband\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"Love your Husband\/ Love Yourself: Embracing Gods Purpose for Passion in Marriage","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/Love-Your-Husband-Front-Cover-Redo-e1429359859963.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5048,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/marriage\/25-ways-to-show-respect\/","url_meta":{"origin":5256,"position":1},"title":"25 Ways to Show Respect","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"August 11, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Actions speak louder than words. You can say you respect your husband, but he'll have a hard time believing that unless your behavior backs it up. What does respectful living look like? Here are 25 ways you can communicate respect to your spouse without uttering a word. If you'll make\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 49 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 49 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/marriage\/25-ways-to-show-respect\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Show-Respect-.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Show-Respect-.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Show-Respect-.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Show-Respect-.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/Show-Respect-.jpg?fit=1200%2C799&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":116,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/about-us\/our-family\/doug\/","url_meta":{"origin":5256,"position":2},"title":"Doug","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"March 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Doug and Jennifer met back at Dallas Baptist University in 1986, married the following year, and began their family the next.\u00a0 Meanwhile, Doug went to medical school, completed an anesthesia residency, served as president of a large private-practice group, helped start a home church, survived two tours of duty with\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 3 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 3 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/about-us\/our-family\/doug\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/2008-Doug-at-Road-Stop.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6371,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/marriage\/hope-for-hurting-marriages\/","url_meta":{"origin":5256,"position":3},"title":"Hope for Hurting Marriages","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"February 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\"A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.\" (Proverbs 14:1) Marriage is under assault today like never before. 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Although I'm the one who does most of the writing here, this blog\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 37 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 37 comments","link":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/about-us\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"Flanders Family","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/cropped-Flanders-Family-2012-e1498233299308.jpg?fit=1200%2C720&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/cropped-Flanders-Family-2012-e1498233299308.jpg?fit=1200%2C720&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/cropped-Flanders-Family-2012-e1498233299308.jpg?fit=1200%2C720&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/cropped-Flanders-Family-2012-e1498233299308.jpg?fit=1200%2C720&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/cropped-Flanders-Family-2012-e1498233299308.jpg?fit=1200%2C720&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":317,"url":"https:\/\/www.flandersfamily.info\/web\/marriage\/","url_meta":{"origin":5256,"position":5},"title":"Marriage Matters","author":"Jennifer Flanders","date":"April 10, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Since one of the best things you can do for your children is love your spouse, in this section you'll find fresh ideas for nurturing your relationship to your spouse. 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