Mailbag

More Options for Kids-Free Dining: Jennifer:      Today I saw a banner advertising "Kids eat free" on Tuesdays nights at Fish City Grill. I haven't called to confirm the details yet, but I thought y'all might want to know. We plan or week around your web site's schedule. We love it! Mike Dear Mike,      Thanks so much for letting us know. I verified with the Fish City manager today that kids do indeed eat free all day on Tuesday, but there is a limit of ONE FREE KIDS MEAL PER TABLE. You may be happy to hear, though, that IHOP lets kids eat free every night from 4-10 throughout the month of August. We've updated our "Kids Eat Free" page and printable list to include both of these specials. Hope to see you around! Spiritual Gifts: Hi, Mom.      I'm filling out a student missions application and got stuck on "List the spiritual gifts God has given you and how you believe they may be used in your ministry."       What ARE my spiritual gifts, Mom? We don't really talk about this much... Love you, Bethany Dear Bethany,      We haven't talked about it much because I haven't wanted you to focus on one gift to the exclusion of others. I think God expects ALL of us to serve, to evangelize, to give, to discern, to exercise faith, etc. He specially equips us so that some of these things come more easily than others, but that does not exempt us from working to develop the others, as well. One of your father's obvious gifts is giving, which he has faithfully used to support missionaries and other worthy causes throughout his life. However, when God puts it on his heart to share the gospel with a lost friend or neighbor, he shouldn't say, "Well, evangelism is not my gift, so God will have to send somebody else to do that." Not every Christian is called to be a foreign missionary or a full time evangelist, but God expects us all to be prepared and willing to "give account for the hope that lies within us." Likewise for the other gifts. Discernment may not be my strong suit, but I still have a responsibility to exercise good judgement and to pray for wisdom in my decision making. My gift may not be giving, but that doesn't mean I can be stingy. When it is time to clean up after potluck on Sundays, I can't say, "Well, service is not my spiritual gift," and use that as a justification for laziness.       As for you, Bethany, I think it is obvious that teaching comes naturally for you and that you are gifted in that area. I think you are also very good at encouraging people, so perhaps exhortation is another of your gifts. I would advise you to continue to mature in all areas of service, and just enjoy the fact that some facets will feel more comfortable than others. Making the Most of High School: Jennifer:      I love your website. Thanks so much for all your work. I'm working on my daughter's four year high school plan. I noticed that Bethany is a senior at A&M and only 19. Please share with me what curriculum she used in high school and what her track was that she made such an accomplishment. Thanks, Lisa Dear Lisa,      Hardly a week goes by that I don't get an email from another mom wanting to know how our kids managed to rake up so much college credit before they ever graduated high school—and asking what steps they can take to give their own child(ren) a similar headstart.      The good news is, it is not nearly as hard as you might imagine! Whether your student is attending public school, enrolled in private school, or being educated at home, investing just a little extra effort now can lead to huge savings in terms of time and tuition-costs in the future.... Read More Devotional Books for Boys: Hi, Jennifer,      My husband wants to start a bible study/mentoring time with my oldest son (almost 10 years old), and I was wondering if you know of a book, guide or some other tool that could serve as jumping off point in their time together. It doesn't have to be very structured, but just serve as a forum to talk about things young men need to share. Off the top of your head, any input or ideas? Thank you so much and God bless you, Sue Hi, Sue.      My older three boys really enjoyed Bob Schultz's Boyhood and Beyond when they were that age. The chapters are about 4 pp each, with a correlated Bible verse and follow-up questions. Another good one is JC Ryle's Thoughts for Young Men , but it has been several years since I've read it, and I don't remember what age it is geared to. Of course, the book of Proverbs is full of wisdom and warnings for young men. Your guys could read through a chapter a day and discuss how the verses apply to their lives. It's great that your husband is setting aside time to spend with your son this way. What a special time of bonding that will be for them! Doug leads our family "Bible time" in the evenings after dinner, but since all the children are together for that, he hasn't tackled any "boy specific" studies, per se. He's tried a variety of reading plans and devotional books through the years — everything from The One Year Bible for Children to The Purpose Driven Life , but I really like it best when he just picks a book of the Bible and reads it straight through, a few verses at a time,then discusses what they mean and how it affects us today. More Kids Eat Free: Jennifer,       I believe Fat Cats in Tyler (by Potpourri House) has kids eat free night on Tuesdays. The food is awesome and the service is the best we have seen in a looong time! Have a great week! Trish Thanks, Trish!      You were exactly right, so I've added Fat Cats to our list. Thanks also to Nataleigh for the heads-up about Applebee's letting kids eat free all day Wednesday, and to Amy for telling me JW Finn's offers free kid's meals on Wednesdays after 4 pm. We appreciate all of you taking time to write and tell us about these offers! Book Give-Away: Hi, Jennifer,       I have been so blessed by the book you gave me (Created to Be His Help Meet)! I bought several more copies and keep sharing it with other women. Wish I had gotten it years ago, but God has been faithful to teach me many of these things through His Word and through my own personal trials which He uses to conform us to His image. Thanks again! Love-n-Jesus, Terri I'm glad you enjoyed it, Terri.      We're sponsoring another book give-away this month (January 2010). We have several copies of Michael and Debi Pearl's classic To Train Up A Child , and we will send a free copy to the first ten responders, so email us if you would like one. The free copy will have the original hand-drawn cover, admittedly not as professional-looking as the current edtion, but with the same great text on the inside! Taming Untidy Toys: Hi Jennifer!      I have an organization question. What do you do with the kid's toys? And what would you suggest when small space is an issue? We have enclosed our garage for a play area for the kids. When everything is in it's place their is an open space on the floor yet, when they each get something out it covers the entire floor (which isn't that big of an area - only 1 car size). I'm not always in there so there are times when the kids leave out what they played with and it is a mess - needless to say the clean up process takes awhile and it doesn't get put up well unless I'm in there with them. So I guess it could be a training problem - and yet I still feel like it is partly a space problem. As with the rest of the house, I don't think we have alot of stuff - in a larger house it would feel like we didn't have alot. Yet in a smaller space it feels tight. Thanks, Feeling Crowded Dear Crowded,      We don't have a dedicated play area. We keep four big boxes full of Duplos, Lincoln Logs, train tracks, and wooden blocks in the front hall closet, which the kids play with either in the middle of the library or in the middle of the den, whichever we dictate, depending on who is playing and what everyone else is doing. The Duplos and Lincoln Logs are pretty standard, but the wooden blocks and trains occasionally get changed out for other toys that we normally keep in the school closet upstairs. I have clear bins up there for matchbox cars, potato heads, hand puppets, tea party supplies, baby dolls, etc. There's an empty dormer closet that the younger ones sometimes use as a play area when we are doing school upstairs, but they only get one toy at a time, and the other toys are kept locked in the school closet. Rebekah and Rachel keep their American Girl dolls in their rooms for anytime play, and each of the older boys keeps a box of his own Legos in his closet, which he is free to play with when schoolwork is done or after little ones go to bed at night. They are responsible to keep all that picked up when it's not being played with, or it gets confiscated and moved upstairs for a time. The secret for us is to only provide a very few choices at any one time... even when we're upstairs, I don't let Isaac and Daniel just go in the school closet and select from three shelves of toy bins. Instead, I'll usually ask, "Do you want to play with cars or puzzles?" It also helps to make it easy to put away. For example, if the toys have to be stacked "just so" in order to fit in the box, they're probably not going to be put away properly ever... If they can be tossed back in the bucket with plenty of room to spare, even Gabriel can help pick up and be proud of himself for doing so. I hope some of this will help. Check out the suggestions on our toy page for more ideas. Don't feel like you have to store all your toys in the play room. If you have space on a high shelf in the pantry, or under the master bed, and can rotate from there, then go for it. Fewer toys makes for less clutter and for more creative play, as well. Reading List: Dear Jennifer,      Thanks for your wonderfully inspiring newsy letter! I LOVED the book suggestions. Thanks for going to the effort to put your ideas together. Kindly, Victoria Your welcome, Victoria!      We had a lot of positive response to the "What Our Family Is Reading" column, so we've decided to make that a regular feature. Look for quarterly updates on our Books Page. Vacation Itineraries: Jennifer,       Loved your great tips!!!! Wish I had your itinerary for the Early American History trip...I've been wanting to take my crew on one of those this next year! Thought about putting that on your site? As if you didn't already do enough! Thank you so much for being such a blessing to me! Your friend, Susan Dear Susan,       You aren't the first one to request that itinerary. The East Coast seems to be especially popular among history-loving homeschoolers. Per your suggestion, I'm putting a variety of our old itineraries on the website, in case other readers might enjoy perusing them, as well. Summer Reading: Hi, Jennifer.       Can you tell me what your reward system is for summer reading. I know you record the time, but I can't remember how much they earn for what amount of time.       This year the library is only allowing four sheets to be filled in for prizes (and of course some prizes require two sheets). After that, they can fill out a sheet and have their name go in for a weekly drawing. Not much incentive, so I think we will add our own.... Thanks for the information, Kimberly Hi, Kimberly.       When they were younger, I paid the children in "mommy money" for the summer reading they did, then allowed them to redeem their earnings for prizes that I'd bought at garage sales and affixed new "prices" to. I selected things I knew each one might like, but sometimes they'd decide to try for the same prize and would have to race to see who could earn enough to "buy" it first. In the very beginning, when Jonathan and Bethany were just beginning to read, we counted books instead of time, and I paid maybe a nickel or dime per written "book report" (they'd copy title and author onto a round piece of paper and write a sentence about their favorite part of the story). Each report formed a segment of a "bookworm", which we taped to the wall over their beds, where they could watch them "grow". That worked well, too.       For the past several years, I've given our kids 20 hour reading logs and paid $1 per hour (of which they can actually spend only 50%, as 40% goes to college savings and 10% to church). Our older kids are also very incentivized by a great website called Library Thing, which allows them record and rate all the books they've read. They've been "building their libraries" ever since we dicovered this service, which will keep track of up to 200 books for free. Once you read more than that, you must pay a small, one-time fee (I think it's about $25), and they'll let you expand your library without limit. Writing on the Wall: Hey Jennifer!       Loved your newsletter. Eleven!! How Blessed!!! Enjoyed looking at the pictures of your home ... how beautiful. I had one question — did you use stencils for the "walligraphy?" I have been thinking of painting some of my archways in our home and like your script. Beverly Hi, Beverly.       I did my lettering freehand, however, my mother recently showed me a catalogue from a company called Uppercase Living which is full of wonderful ideas that allow you to customize calligraphy transfers for your home. This may be a good option for someone who isn't blessed with nice penmanship and a steady hand. Check it out and see what you think. Sibling Rivalry: Dear Jennifer,       Could you please tell me how your family deals with sibling rivalry? Two of my boys are constantly bickering, and it is driving me crazy! I am so tired of being their referee. Mom in the Middle Dear Mom,      Our response to sibling squabbles can be summed up in four words: Pray, Practice, Paddle, and Prune: PRAY - Doug and I pray daily for a peaceful home, for a loving family, for obedient children, and for God's wisdom in training them. We do this even before problems arise. Then, whenever tempers do flare, we pray individually with the children involved, that God will help them to put others first and to show love to one another. We appeal to our older children especially to exercise patience and self-control. And we point them to relevant verses such as 1 John 4:20-21, Luke 6:31, Galatians 5:13, and Proverbs 6:16-19. PRACTICE - Once we've identified where the children erred in the way they were relating, we ask, "How could you have handled that situation better?" Then we have them run through the scenario again with the preferred responses. Depending on the ages of the children involved, we may practice this three or four times before moving on. "Okay, Isaac, instead of snatching the toy away this time, ask 'May I play, too?'" or "Daniel, instead hitting your brother and screaming when he grabs your toy, can you practice sharing? Say, "Would you like a turn now?'" PADDLE - Sometimes conflict stems from immaturity and thoughtlessness, but other times it's something else and should be dealt with accordingly. We believe that deliberate cruelty, belligerance, and name-calling should never be tolerated. We love our children too much to let them grow up to be bullies; therefore, we spank for that type of behavior (which is extremely rare, since our kids know what they'll get if they act that way). PRUNE - Our rule has always been, "If you can't get along with your siblings, you can't play with your friends." By thus "pruning" outside relationships, it allows our children to focus their attention and energy on forging friendships with their own brothers and sisters. But there are other things that get "pruned" whenever our kids have trouble getting along. Anything that seems to be the source of quarrels gets taken away, at least temporarily, including any toys that they repeatedly fight over. Cutting out excess sugar can calm children down and help them behave more civilly. And did you know that a person's level of happiness is decreased by 5% for every hour of television he watches a day? Reasoning that the same principle may hold for viewing DVDs, surfing the Internet, or playing video games, we cut back on our already very limited use of visual media whenever our children seem irritable and impatient with one another. Battling Fatigue: Dear Jennifer,      How do you maintain your energy while caring for a newborn? My two babies are only 15 months apart, and I'm completely exhausted most of the time! Weary Mother Dear Mother,      Our first two children were just 16 months apart, and I well remember what difficulties I had as a new mother caring for them. I wondered if I would ever feel well-rested again! Sometimes when the baby would wake up crying in the middle of the night, I'd feel like crying right along with her, so desperate was I for sleep. The good news is, that feeling is now just a distant memory. It definitely gets easier over time (having older children eager to lend a hand makes a world of difference), and I know this season will pass for you, as well.      However, in the meantime, there are a few practical things you can do to help stretch your reserves of strength and energy. Start by sleeping when your baby sleeps, even if that just means resting on the floor for 15 minutes while you toddler plays at your side (We keep our babies in bed with us for the first six months or so; that way, I don't even have to get out of bed for those midnight feedings). You may also need to scale back on activities outside the home for a while (it's not safe to drive in a sleep-deprived stupor, anyway). Do try to get a little exercise, though, even if it's just a quick walk around the block while pushing babies in a stroller — the fresh air and sunshine will help recharge you. Taking a good multi-vitamin with iron can help your energy level, as well (I recommend Supermom vitamins), as can eating a diet rich in complex carbohydrates, whole grains, and fresh fruit and vegetables, as opposed to junk food and caffenated beverages (be sure to drink lots and lots of water, too — especially if you're breastfeeding). You may also need to relax your standards for housekeeping for the time being. During that season of my life, it was enough that our home stayed (relatively) tidy — it didn't have to be spotless. (In fact, it still doesn't. That old poem rings true: "Quiet down, cobwebs; Dust, go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.")      Another thing that helped me through those early years was more philosophical than practical in nature. John Newton once said, "Everything is needful that He sends. Nothing is needful that He withholds." That had always been one of my favorite quotes, but as a young mother, I gained a much deeper appreciation of its truth. I began to realize, when I was awakened at two in the morning by a hungry newborn crying for milk, that what I needed most desperately was obviously not sleep (or God would have provided it). What I really needed was to develop sacrificial love. I needed to learn to die to myself. This shift in mindset began to make a noticable difference in my outlook. Rather than resenting the fact that my rest was being interrupted, I began to rejoice over the opportunity to serve this little one (Matthew 25:35-40), knowing that by tending to her needs with a grateful heart, I was gradually being molded into the likeness of Christ (the fact that I've had 11 babies and still have such a long way to go should let you know how very selfish I was to start with!).      My last advice for maintaining energy may seem a little counter-intuitive, but it has the power to revolutionize your life at home. Like many young mothers, back when we first started our family, I became so absorbed in tending to my baby's needs that I felt quite justified in marginalizing my husband's needs. After all, wasn't I having to sacrifice sleep for the sake of of our child? Surely my husband could make a few sacrifices himself! Let me warn you that this way of thinking is very unwise. You must never use your children, however young and needy they are, as an excuse to neglect your relationship to their father. Reserve at least a little energy so you can regularly devote your full attention to him. In the long run, I found that investing in my marriage in this manner paid HUGE dividends and multiplied my strength manyfold. Like loaves and fishes, when I freely and joyfully gave myself to my husband, despite the overwhelming fatigue I felt at the time, God took that gift and stretched it in amazing ways, so that I was able to accomplish much more than I ever imagined possible, and actually felt GREAT doing it. Try it yourself, and see if you don't feel re-energized, as well. Make it a priority. Make it a habit. Your husband will thank me. And you will, too. Family Camping: Jennifer,      I would like to see some tips on camping! We didn't attend family camp this year, but I know that your family did. How do you do it??? Do you tent camp (we do)? How do you do your clothing & meals? What about making sure that you get to enjoy the activities as well (keeping in mind that there are babies & small children in your family as well)? Fellow Camper Dear Camper,      This was our first year to attend family camp in Big Sandy, and we all had a WONDERFUL time. In answer to your questions, we did pitch tents for the week rather than stay in the dorms. The weather was mild, except for Monday night's thunderstorm, but even then we kept dry.      As for clothes, we followed our normal vacation routine and dressed in matching colors every day, bringing extra dress shirts, pants, and skirts to wear when eating in the dining room or attending camp meetings. As usual, all our clean clothes stayed in the suitcases in back of the van until we needed them. Dirty clothes were collected into two hampers — one for darks, one for lights — that we'd brought from home for that purpose.      As for food, we ate breakfast and lunch at our campsite and dinner in the cafeteria. With the exception of roasting hot dogs and s'mores over an open fire, I did as much cooking as possible in advance, then warmed the food in my crockpot (soups and casseroles) or steamer (tortillas and muffins) when I was ready to serve it.      As for activities, we did things as a family in the mornings and early evenings, and took turns watching the babies in the afternoons. I made a little chart for the week to keep track of what things we had scheduled for each day. Since Gabriel is still nursing, I had him most of the time and was happy to stay at the campsite with the little ones when they napped. We pitched our tents close to the volleyball courts, so I could see the games and still keep an eye on the sleepers. But many afternoons, I took advantage of the peace and quiet to read a book or take a nap, while the older kids were occupied with their father and friends. What a relaxing, refreshing week!      For all of this, it is a huge help to keep a master packing list. You can read over ours and use it as a guide in compiling one of your own. As you discover things while camping you wish you'd brought with you, add them to that list, keep a copy on file, and refer to it again every time you camp to ensure you never forget to pack essential items again. Keeping Bedrooms Clean: Hi, Jennifer.      How do you get teens to clean their rooms? This is a big struggle at our house right now. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks. Frustrated Mom Dear Frustrated,       I believe that some children are naturally tidy and others are not. We have both kinds in our own family. I myself was a messy child but am an organized adult — so I try not to lose hope when I can't find the floor of my child's closet for all the wet towels he has dropped there. Still, those towels may mildew if they don't find their way to the laundry, so how do we make that happen?      First, try to make it easy for your children to keep their bedrooms clean. Identify the problem areas, then think of a solution. If the dirty clothes pile up in the floor of the closet while the bathroom hamper stands empty, move the hamper to the closet. My oldest daughter would come in from college every afternoon and drop her backpack on the floor of her bedroom, so I put an empty blanket chest at the foot of her bed, and now she drops it in there (most of the time).      Second, you must clearly define your standard (and possibly even consider lowering it). I would love for my children to keep their rooms 100 percent clean, 100 percent of the time — but I'm content when they keep their rooms 85 percent clean with some consistently. I can ignore cluttered drawers if the beds are made neatly. When their bedrooms need a little extra attention, I give them a checklist of what needs to be done, so we both stay on the same page.      Third, be sure you are modeling good behavior yourself. I'm much more likely to get upset at the papers scattered all over my son's desk if the files on my own are overflowing, so while I ask him to clean his, I work on getting my own back in order. Our children learn much more from our example than from our instruction. I think the real reason my home is clean and organized today is that my mother was such an immaculate housekeeper when I was growing up.      And finally, come alongside your child — at every age — and give patient, loving help when they need it. Even teens get overwhelmed by what seems to be a hopelessly cluttered room. They feel stressed out and don't know where to begin, just like younger children (and even mothers!) sometimes do. I still get a warm tingle down my spine when I think of all the times my mother rescued me when I got bogged down with the burden of tidying my room. She'd sit down at my desk and say sweetly, "How about I organize your drawers while you clean out your closet?" Then she'd visit with me while she separated paper clips from rubberbands. It was heavenly. Home School Help: Hi Jennifer!      I am wondering how to get started home schooling. It looks like that might be my only option for my little one, at least for the rest of this year. He is 11 yrs old and in 6th grade. Thanks for you help! A Home Schooling Novice Dear Novice,      Since we have home schooled from the beginning, we've been able to grow into it with each child. I don't have any experience with pulling one out of another school and beginning mid-year, although I know lots of people have done so successfully. You'll be under a little more of a time crunch that way, though. No tip-toeing in at the shallow end of the pool while investigating your options and getting acclimated -- you'll be diving head-first into the deep end! But I know you can do it. It's really just a matter of notifying your son's school that you'll be teaching him at home, finding a curriculum to use, and bathing the entire endeavor in lots of prayer. It would probably be a good idea to join a home school support group. You'll find a directory of support groups in your area, along with lots of other helpful information,at www.hslda.org (the Home School Legal Defense Association's website). Babies in Medical School: Hello Flanders Family!      I would love to seek your wisdom on a particular subject. My husband is a first-year medical student, and we are considering having children while he is in medical school. We would deeply value any advice you have time to share. Thanks and love, A Sister in Christ Dear Sister.      We're happy to share our perspective on having babies during medical school: We had three while Doug was in school, two more during residency, then another six (so far) once he began his practice. Was it ever a struggle? Yes, at times — especially financially, since Doug was committed to my staying home with the children, and having them early meant taking out bigger loans while he was in school. Would we do it all over again? Absolutely! We are profoundly grateful that God overruled our half-hearted attempt to use natural family planning to postpone pregnancy until after Doug completed his training (a plan which was quickly abandoned when I got pregnant two weeks into our honeymoon).      You see, the problem with waiting for "the perfect time" to have a baby is that it becomes easier and easier to find reasons to postpone (we'll just wait until I graduate/ finish residency/ get established/ build a house) — and harder and harder to conceive once "the perfect time" arrives. That's because a woman has just a small window of fertile years — a window which begins to close in her twenties. By thirty, she has only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month. By forty, those odds drop to 5%.      But there are other benefits to having babies while you're young.... For one thing, younger moms have an easier time keeping up with active toddlers. Raising children is hard work — best do it while your energy levels are still pretty high. For another thing, starting your family early is good for your health. Mothers who give birth at a young age have a lower incidence of both breast cancer and ovarian cancer. Studies also show that men who father children live longer, especially if they begin while they're still young.      Having children is also good for your marriage. It will mature you both in more ways than you can imagine. It cements your love and seals your commitment to one another. Watching my husband interact with our chldren has given me a whole new respect for him by bringing to light character qualities which would otherwise have remained unrecognized and unappreciated. With divorce rates topping 50% in the general population and even higher among certain medical specialties, it is interesting to note that your risk of divorce decreases 20% for every child you have. The wedding ring on your husband's finger may not keep those cute little nurses from flirting with him, but two or three (or eleven!) baby pictures in his wallet will sure slow them down.      Although conventional wisdom may tell you that medical school is hard enough without throwing dirty diapers and midnight feedings into the mix, Doug and I found that making babies was a great stress-reliever for him, and nursing them was a terrific stress-reducer for me! And of course, we shouldn't forget the most obvious reason of all for starting your family ASAP: Babies are WONDERFUL. So are toddlers, adolescents, teens, and adult children (and grandchildren!) God really knew what He was talking about when He declared, "Children are a blessing from the Lord.... Happy is the man whose quiver is full of them." (Psalm 127)      We hope some of this will help you come to a consensus on the matter. Let us know when #1 is on the way! Pregnant Again: Dear Jennifer,      May I ask you a word of advice? How do you deal with people acting as if it is a disappointment that you are having another boy? Surely you've dealt with this after so many boys. I am so just grateful for a healthy child. I told the Lord when I found out I was expecting...that I would be happy with whatever he gives me. We had been trying for four years! A Friend Dear Friend.      Do these folks act as if they are disappointed you are having another boy, or as if they think that you must be? I guess I didn't pay close enough attention to notice whether anyone was disappointed when we had boy after boy (after boy after boy). There would have been little I could do about it had I known. Of course, if you mean that people assume you must be disappointed, you can reassure them that you would be thoroughly delighted with either sex and are just so very grateful to be having a baby at all -- especially one with a clean bill of health! We've never been able to understand people who have a strong preference for girls over boys or vice versa. Our main prayer for all our children, since before any were born, is that each one would come to faith at an early age. Beyond that, we pray that if it please the Lord, they would be strong and healthy and whole. The sex of our children has honestly never even made the list. Maybe I'd feel differently if we'd had all boys and no girls at all, or all girls and no boys.... then perhaps I would hope for what we didn't already have... but as it is, we are quite content to let God decide whether He sends us sons or daughters, without our petitioning for one over the other! Scheduling Question: Dear Jennifer,      I am interested in how your daily schedule works. I have a 2 year old and an almost 5 year old whom I might be home schooling in the fall. My husband...is gone alot and so it is a bit overwhelming for me to think about [home schooling or adding to our family], although he is always eager to help when he is home. Thank You for your time and may God continue to richly bless you and your beautiful family. Busy Mom Dear Mom,      The children and I have found that we all get so much more accomplished when we stick to a routine. Even though few days will ever flow exactly according to our schedule, having an ideal helps keep us all on the same page. I found Terri Maxwell's book, Managers of Their Homes to be an invaluable resource when first attempting to bring some sanity to our family's schedule. You may want to check out the Maxwell's website, www.titus2.com for information on how to order a copy.       I know it is very difficult when children are young and daddy must work long hours away from home. We had many years of that when my husband was in medical school (we married before he finished his undergraduate degree and had our first child 9 1/2 months later. Doug worked three jobs and went to school part time in order to get through and keep a roof over our heads!) Let me encourage you, though, that the children are definitely worth the effort. What a blessing each one of ours has been to us. My oldest daughter was telling me earlier this week that she would want a large family regardless of the work and expense, just because she sees how good it is for kids' character development to have to learn to get along and share with so many siblings -- plus they really are each others' best friends.      If you could use further encouragement in your role as wife/ mother/ home maker, there are a couple of wonderful, (free!) magazines that I would highly recommend: one, published by Nancy Campbell, is Above Rubies, and the other, published by Mike and Debi Pearl, is No Greater Joy. Click on the imbedded links for more information. Morning Sickness: Dear Jennifer,      How do you deal with nausea and fatigue during your pregancies? I am 9 wks. along and need a nap at least twice a day...and the nausea robs me of motivation to work on other things (which is unlike me). Mother of Five Dear Mother,      I've never had very bad morning sickness with any of my pregnancies -- just a slight queasiness in the pit of my stomach that lasts most of the day but seldom makes me throw up -- but I do usually battle tremendous fatigue, where I can barely keep my eyes open in the early afternoon. It is especially difficult to read to the kids or drive a car for more than 15-20 minutes at a time. I'm happy to say I did not experience either of those symptoms during my 11th pregnancy. I happened to be taking Tummy Tuneup and Supermom vitamins when I got pregnant and continued that regimen throughout. I didn't really make a connection between those supplements and my lack of nausea/fatigue until I read testimonials toward the end of my 2nd trimester from other moms who had noticed the same effect during their pregnancies. You might give these supplements a try and see if they help you, too.

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